National Coming Out Day 2011
Happy National Coming Out Day
Hi, my name is Shane and I’m gay. DUH! Yeah we know.
I came out over 23 years ago, but there are those who still struggle for various reasons with their comfort around their sexual orientation. Everyone of us who come out and are public about it help open the closet door a bit more and let in more light for those who are still in the dark.
If you are LGBTQ and have come out, I thank you and I’m proud you are part of my tribe. If you are LGBTQ and have not come out, I hope you find the strength of spirit from the rest of us to make the journey out of the closet. The tribe needs you. The tribe wants you
Equally important, to everyone else, if you are an ally, I want you to come out today too. Let those around you know that you are an supportive and affirmative of LGBTQ people. If it helps, you can give me as a resource to someone(s) who need a tribal member to lean on.
We make strides every year to not just opening the closet door, but breaking down the closet entirely.
Why I’m not writing a post about the new anti gay Tennessee law
I thought about writing something about the recent passing of the law in Tennessee which prohibits teachers from talking about homosexuality in the class room. I couldn’t get very far in the writing process without using the phrase ‘stupid inbred fuck nuggets‘ so I thought maybe I’d just go ahead and table the idea altogether. It seems to me that the creation of this law is just another stupid inbred fuck nugget’s stupid inbred notion of how to make something they don’t like go away. What I don’t get is why an educated adult stupid inbred fuck nugget would you use such an infantile method of erasing homosexuality (or any subject for that matter)? The method of dealing with a topic by not allowing it to be talked about is the same as a child trying to hide by covering his/her eyes. The method doesn’t work, it’s a waste of energy, and creates an illusion of control that simply isn’t there. I’m pretty sure that’s a stupid inbred fuck nugget way of going about things.
Now using the phrase ‘stupid inbred fuck nugget‘ isn’t really a good example of Right Speech (one aspect of the 8 Fold Path) so I’ve decided not to comment on the new Tennessee law prohibiting the discussion of homosexuality in the class room. I just wanted you to know what I wasn’t writing a post about it even though it has crossed my mind quite a bit the past few days. I knew you’d want to know the answer because you are not a stupid inbred fuck nugget and I thank you for that.
someone who is taking on the subject is the glorious golden space nugget, George Takei. If you don’t already love him, you should start doing so right now. Here is his video on the subject.
end of transmission
Profiles in LGBT Spirit – Richard
Welcome to the next installment of of Profiles in LGBT Spirit. Today’s guest post is from Richard at My Buddha is Pink and Tweets like a madqueen at @newzdude76.
Richard was one of the first gay Buddhist’s I came to know when I fell across his blog. His eloquence and presentation helped me feel a little bit more at home in the bloggy world and helped me along my exploration of the Buddhist path. What’s more, just when you think he’s being totally serious, he’ll floor you with a well placed quip or obscure reference that only the homo’s know 
. Plus, he’s about the only person I know who can sing Scissor Sisters right along with me and know all the words as well as decode the Buddhist wisdom in them (except for the last album which is quite homogeneous and hedonistic, hmm Richard?).
International Man of Leisure
Here’s Richard’s post in response to my questions:
Q: Spirituality often evolves over time. It can start with what tradition we grew up in, or if there was no tradition, it may be bits and pieces we pick up on our own. What was your spiritual timeline before you found your current path?
A: I used to have a very strong belief there was a god. There ought to be at least, that’s what I thought. Everything in the world was so fucked up that it made sense there was something out there that would eventually make everything right. Except that he never showed up. It wasn’t like there weren’t any opportunities, hell, there were plenty of them. But god, it seemed, was turning out to be more like No Show George Jones than the spiritual Santa Claus everyone seemed to be portraying him as. And besides, I didn’t like god all that much. I thought he was an asshole. When I was 7, I was caught in a very indiscreet indiscretion with another boy in the basement restroom at the Catholic school I attended. The next day, a nun told me in front of the class that I was an evil, wicked little boy and that god had forsaken me.
As Hedwig said, “Long story short.” I rejected the Church and everything it stood for. But I did value the Gospels. I thought there was real wisdom there, real love. Later in life I dabbled with American Indian mysticism and religion, having read my way through Carlos Castaneda’s books, trying most of the various indulgences depicted there. Still, I disliked the tribalism and ethnic hatred among the Indians themselves. So I pretty much gave up on anything and wandered about fucking up my life until in my late 30s, and that’s when I found the Buddha’s teachings.
Q: What attracted you to your current path and how long would you say you’ve been following it?
A: Pain brought me to my path. And relief of my pain is what attracted me. I was in down-in-the-dirt pain, groveling madly in pain, shrieking hysterically in emotional pain (the shrieking of course was all inside of me, I learned how to be emotionless quite well from my parents). Stab myself in the head with a Bowie knife pain. I didn’t need to fear hell, I was already in it. But the Buddha’s teaching not only showed me that I was causing all my pain myself, but that I could stop the pain if I stopped wanting the wrong things, and there was a way to learn how to start wanting the right things, and so I starting following that path. I’ve been on the path now for 10 years, somewhat a newby I am.
Q: Initial attraction is sometimes fickle. What keeps you on your current path?
A: I don’t like pain.
Q: Do you talk about your path with other people? Practice with other people? Or is it a private experience for you? If you do interact with others regarding your path, in what capacity do you do that? If your practice is more private, what form does it take?
A: At first I was a very active member at the Sangha where I first encountered the Buddha’s teachings. I attended Dhamma classes regularly. I showed up to volunteer to do work at the temple. I helped build the new meditation hall. I helped the Sangha set up feasts and festivals. I helped repair a collapsed porch on the monks’ house. And I went to meditation classes regularly. This was a good grounding, because when I moved to another location, it was more difficult for me to find a Sangha I felt comfortable with. Lately, my practice is more private and individual. But I do from time to time attend a Sangha here in Chicago where I now live. And occasionally I share my practice with others if they show curiosity. I have a preference for disorganized religion. The more organized a Sangha is, the less attractive I find it.
Q: What teachers and/or teachings resonate the most with you on your current path?
A: Life is the teacher that resonates with me the most. I read what other teachers write, and I have a preference for the Thai Forest Tradition over other traditions. I study the Dhamma, read as much of the Tipitika as I can. Sorry, but I have yet to meet a “teacher” who doesn’t have an agenda.
Q: How do you live your path on a daily basis? (in the bathroom, at work, with friends, with partners, etc)
A: Poorly. I meditate each morning, reciting the metta chant in Pali as well as reciting the Five Recollections (in English). On weekends, I also chant the Daimoku (sometimes in the evening on weekdays too if I’m feeling particularly anxious). As for my daily activity, I strive to have a cheerful disposition, to be helpful to others whenever I can, and I strive to do things that make me feel uncomfortable. But basically, I trash most of the precepts considering how I love to eat, drink and have sex. And oh yeah, I cuss an awful fucking lot. Still, I attempt to be aware of what I am doing, why I am doing it, and what the possible consequences are. I said I attempt – I’m still a dumb shit most of the time. Probably because of all that drinking and eating and sex and cussing (well, really, there’s not that much sex, not any more anyway).
Q: What external resources, if any, do you use on a regular basis? (websites, blogs, twitter feeds, etc)
A: Access To Insight is probably the one resource I use the most. And I really love the writings of Thanissaro Bhikkhu. Buddha Net is also a good spot. But I also read many blogs and other websites, follow many Buddhists on Twitter, and I write my own blog as well. Nothing helps you more to understand your own faith than to explain it to others.
Q: If you had to explain your path to someone from another planet, what would you tell them?
A: Why did you come all the way here? Everything you need to know is already inside you.
Profiles in LGBT Spirit – @foolishbeing
Mark, @foolishbeing (if you’re a Twitter type), agreed to be my first Profile in LGBT Spirit post. Give him a read, ya’ll. I think too often in the LGBT world, a lot is talked about, but rarely if at all have I ever seen spirituality a hot topic of the Queer roundtable. As I’ve said in my introduction to this series of posts, if you, or anyone you know is an LGBT person who would like to participated, please contact me. I’d like to get a diverse set of posts up here, not just Buddhist ones.
I want to thank Mark for being the first to take on this process and allow his thoughts to be posted here. His twitter and other accounts are listed below in one of his answers if you’d like to connect with him.
***Management here would like to point out that tho Mark mentions having a partner in his answers below, he is quite single now and taking applications for a husband.
- @foolish being … man or Triffid? you be the judge.
1) Spirituality often evolves over time. It can start with what tradition we grew up in, or if there was no tradition, it may be bits and pieces we pick up on our own. What was your spiritual timeline before you found your current path?
I grew up devoutly Catholic. I have always loved the liturgy and core teachings of historical Christianity. My primary attraction and enjoyment of my path was the beauty and goodness of the Tradition. After high school I became a Franciscan brother in a small contemplative reform of the Order of Saint Francis of Assisi (the one with the birds For several reasons, including struggle with depression and the suppression of my sexual orientation, I left the order and set out on a new path. I remained a Catholic until I no longer felt welcome and I resolved the inner contradiction about my orientation. If the Church was wrong about this, and I new it was, what else was a sham? I tried a couple of other, more welcoming churches and got my fix for beautifully liturgy at the Orthodox church. I still felt like a fish out of water.
2) What attracted you to your current path and how long would you say you’ve been following it?
As I continued down the new road of accepting my orientation, I eventually met and fell in love with the man who would become my longterm partner. He had been practicing zen for some years. In high school I was attracted to Buddhist teachings that I encountered in our world religions class. I went to a Catholic high school. And as I read more when I was a brother, I was attracted to Zen Flesh Zen Bones, and a small book by Thomas Merton comparing zen masters and the desert fathers of early christian monasticism. When Eric and I decided to solemnize our relationship we turned to the Anchorage Zen Community. The “elders” there who very grounded lay practitioners, offered to help but suggested that we go see the Shin Buddhist priest who had just moved to town. We approached him and he agreed to marry us according to the tradition of Jodo Shinshu, but not legally of course. But he insisted that we go through the regular marriage preparation sessions. Those conversations moved me to attend the lectures on Buddhism and the Pure Land tradition that he was offering. As I listened to the teachings on emptiness and the Heart Sutra I realized that the teachings felt natural to me. That was in 1997. I had first started meditating in 1977. The journey continues on.
3) Initial attraction is sometimes fickle. What keeps you on your current path?
I continue to feel a natural attraction and fit with the teachings I encounter in Buddhism. I rings true to me. At the same time I am careful not to attach too much to a label. One of the attractions of Buddhism for me is there is no “true church.”
4) Do you talk about your path with other people? Practice with other people? Or is it a private experience for you? If you do interact with others regarding your path, in what capacity do you do that? If your practice is more private, what form does it take?
and…
5) What teachers and/or teachings resonate the most with you on your current path?
I was one of the founders of the small Jodo Shinshu sangha in Anchorage, Alaska. Rev. Yuho became my teacher. I still consider him my teacher even though I live in Pittsburgh and he lives in Belgium.
My current practice is something of a blend of traditions. The radical, stripped down versions of 13th century Japanese Buddhism, Shinran’s Pure Land, and Dogen’s Zen appeal to me very much. Each of them viewed the Buddha’s teaching through a bare bones approach. For Shinran it was “just entrusting”, that is not relying on the self but on the power of Unhindered Enlightenment and respond in gratitude. Dogen, similarly held laser focus on “just sitting”. Zazen, like Shinran’s “entrusting” was not so much working toward enlightenment as accepting it.
I blended this Buddhist practice with the Japanese martail art of aikido. Aikido (“the way of harmonizing energy” or “the way of peace”) is a martial practice that seeks to neutralize aggression with love and respect for the aggressor. When I moved to Washington DC from Alaska my aikido dojo became my primary place of spiritual practice. Since I moved to Pittsburgh in June 2010 I have not found a group (sangha) here. But I have found the Online Meditation Crew to help keep me practicing and growing. I still have contact with Rev. Yuho and others through the Internet as well. One of my goals is to find a practice community where I can meet physically here in Pittsburgh.
I try to practice mindful living, gently watching myself as I move through my day. I also try to sit in quiet breath-centered mediation at least once a day. At the same time I am gratefully aware that the “self” that practices is not the agent, but the object of liberation.
6) How do you live your path on a daily basis? (in the bathroom, at work, with friends, with partners, etc)
Formally, I sit for meditation, zazen, at least once a day. Twice is better but I don’t always do that. Informally, throughout the day I take advantage of moments to stop, reflect and pause. This can be triggered by something I notice in nature, or while observing people or myself. Often reading about science or philosophy invites me to stop in my tracks and take in the truth around me.
7) What external resources, if any, do you use on a regular basis? (websites, blogs, twitter feeds, etc)
The Online Meditation Crew. On Twitter I follow several people who use the hashtag #OMCru. One of the most important books to me that I return to again and agin is “Zen Mind, Beginners MInd” by Shunryo Suzuki. More about me and my path can be found at bonbu.blogspot.com, bonbu.jimdo.com, www.facebook.com/blackandgold, and on Twitter @foolishbeing I welcome all contacts.
8) If you had to explain your path to someone from another planet, what would you tell them?
Everything is changing. Everything is connected. Pay attention.
Profiles in LGBT Spirit
Image via Wikipedia
I’m starting a new type of post to put up periodically here called Profiles In LGBT Spirit in which I send out a list of questions to a willing LGBT participant to answer and become a post. Initially I thought I’d make it have a Buddhist focus, and initially it may well be, but I don’t want it limited to that.
If you are a an LGBT person would like to do this, please email me a freedomrocks1969 at yahoo dot com. So you’ll have an idea of what you are committing to, I’ll post the questions below. I’d like for this to become a regular posting here, so if you even KNOW an LGBT person who would be willing to do it, please pass my contact info along to them. All spiritual paths are welcome.
My first posting will be from @foolishbeing as soon as I get it put together. I want to thank him for being the first participant.
The questions:
1) Spirituality often evolves over time. It can start with what tradition we grew up in, or if there was no tradition, it may be bits and pieces we pick up on our own. What was your spiritual timeline before you found your current path?
2) What attracted you to your current path and how long would you say you’ve been following it?
3) Initial attraction is sometimes fickle. What keeps you on your current path?
4) Do you talk about your path with other people? Practice with other people? Or is it a private experience for you? If you do interact with others regarding your path, in what capacity do you do that? If your practice is more private, what form does it take?
5) What teachers and/or teachings resonate the most with you on your current path?
6) How do you live your path on a daily basis? (in the bathroom, at work, with friends, with partners, etc)
7) What external resources, if any, do you use on a regular basis? (websites, blogs, twitter feeds, etc)
8) If you had to explain your path to someone from another planet, what would you tell them?
Queer and Broken Hearted
OH lordy lordy this post was painful to write, so it’s a bit TLDR, but I hope you make it to the bottom. I promise you that as the news stories tumbled out last week that I was NOT initially fair and balanced. I felt much like Cowboy Kyle, wanting to engage in some serious ass kickery. Anyway…here ya go…
I have been broken hearted of late with the rash of noted suicides by young people who were being bullied or somehow ostracized for being gay. I say “noted suicides” because these are some that just happened to hit the news. Please understand that there are many more who don’t.
I am no different from those people. I was bullied and picked on for being gay and for being overweight. My coping mechanism was to be a wallflower at best and invisible at worst so I was easy to pick on. Two popular nicknames for me at various times were “that curly headed faggot” and “hippo”.
I knew what hippo meant but honestly I didn’t really know what a gay or a faggot really was. They were words hurled with venom and I knew from the tone they were meant to be really bad. But could I tell you what a homo was? No, not really. I only figured that out as I got older and puberty kicked in…oh yeah, I knew what a homo was then, and baby, I was one. I liked boys!
So I was pretty stuck. I was being verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abused but I wasn’t sure exactly why, so it was kinda hard to tell my family or find support. All I could really tell you for sure is that I wasn’t like other people. Hell, honey, I’m STILL not like other people. The difference is that now I really like that about me.
What once felt like my greatest weakness became my greatest strength and the thing I’m happiest with. Who’d a thunk it? Somehow I made it thru without hurting myself or anyone else. So it breaks my heart to the point of almost not being able to speak when I hear of those who didn’t survive. I don’t want to say anything to their survivors, I want to scoop up those survivors and hold them all tight until it stops hurting. I wish I could have scooped up the lost ones and hold them all tight until they no longer want to hurt themselves for being different. That’s what I really want to do, not to throw more words at them.
Now, I told ya that to tell ya this…surely you knew it ain’t all rainbows and bunnies and shit, right?
Yes, I laid awake nights with visions of violent retribution on my bullies. I wanted to hurt them worse than they hurt me. Punch them, kick them, stab them, maim them…it was all fair game in my head. I also thought of just killing myself. That sometimes seemed the easiest way of all to stop the cycle. Just exit the game. So I totally understand those of my tribe who have chosen to step off the ride and go on to the next one. I just wish they had the benefit of a shoulder to lean on and an ear to bend to at least have some loving support and consultation before making such a huge and final decision.
AND ALSO, and here’s the money shot, boys and girls…I sympathize with the bullies too. They are hurting just as much, if not more than the people they terrorize. If they were not hurting and scared and feeling powerless, they would not act out in the ways they do. In the case of bullies towards gay kids, those folks are often battling their own confusion around their sexual orientation. I’m not here to say they all are, but it’s not uncommon.
I’m not even going to try and make this a treatise on why bullies do what they do or why suicides do what they do. I am trying to tell you that it is a complicated issue and BOTH sides need help. BOTH sides are struggling with fear, powerlessness, low self esteem and extremely erroneous ideas about life and humanity and what it means to be different. BOTH sides of this issue needs our love and support.
Everybody wants the same thing even if they are expressing it in vastly opposite ways.
Metta to ALL. and that’s some dirty ass dharma, ya’ll. It Does Get Better!
***late edit…please go read Richard’s post as well here on the same topic. Sorry, Richard, I read your post after I had already put this one up.
