Socially Engaged Zen Drag Buddhist Practice – Guest Post from Miss QDD
Hi Darlings, Miss Queer Divine Dissatisfaction here again. I wanted to clue you in to some socially engage Buddhism that we’re participating in here at Dharma Diva Monastery. We didn’t want to miss out on the socially engaged Buddhist boat by any means, so we’ve developed our own outreach program to poor, broke down, tranny hookers who want to enter monastic life and make themselves a better drag queen and perhaps a better person. So we packed up our drag and went to the nearby hamlet of Gem Village, Colorado where where lived a desperately downtrodden tranny hooker. We just knew this was our first outreach recipient and she was going to accept our outreach and compassion whether she really wanted it or not. Drag is over the top, baby, and Zen Drag is overly compassionate and we are living proof.
We had received a letter from a Mr. Kurt Lovely seen here trying to practice by himself in the back of the cardboard box he lives in.
..well he could afford a cardboard box and a door, but not much else. His ability to turn tricks has been severely hampered by a bad case of “we don’t know what, but we hope there’s a pill for that and until then he sleeps outside”…we’re compassionate, but we ain’t crazy, Ok? Kurt had requested our free Buddhist literature and makeup guide. Little did he know he was about to become our latest project. (The last one was when we tried to infiltrate the BigaHo tribe and free zen drag practitioner Pocahotmess from the pueblo, but that didn’t pan out so well. We pledge to do better this time, tho.)
He said this interesting mudra you see in this picture was how he practiced equanimity in the Bootyana tradition and was passed on to him by Roshi No One In Particular at the Trashpicker Zen Center in lower Manhattan. Personally, ya’ll, I just think he’s off his meds. Case in point, I asked him what the goggles were for and he said “to keep the Neptunians from projecting their alient thoughts into my soul since they eyes are the window to the soul and all that.”
“Juwana,” I said, “we have got our work cut out for us, gurl.”
“I know, Miss Roshi Dissatisfaction, honey, but that just means it is our destiny to the most engaged of all socially engaged Zen Drag Queens.
So we scooped up poor little Kurt and whisked him and his tired drag back to the monastery in the shadow of Nipple Mountain. She cleans up ok, though and I’m quite certain you’ll be wanting to see her all made up. We did have to wear gloves and use a water hose to clean her up initially due to that unfortunate medical condition, but she did turn out quite nice and I think she’ll get better with time, antibiotics and a few make up tips…well ok a LOT of make up tips and a lot of sitting zazen. (Honey, truth be told, I had to use an electric knife to whack off the first 3 inches of her toenails. She ain’t got feet so much as hooves) I hope she don’t freak out having to sleep outside on the hay with our drag donkey mascot Mr. Edwina.
We will be posting as often as we can about the progress of our Socially Engaged Buddhist Tranny Hooker Outreach Program (we just call it SEBTHOP), but until then, we’ll leave you with Kurt Lovely in his almost fabulous drag. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you…Sheila Cuttchew! (we want to thank RuPaul’s Dragulator for helping us out in a pinch).
Even Zen Drag Queens Get the Blues
Hello Pumpkins,
I wanted to write you a note and let you know that even zen drag queens get the blues. I know sometimes if you read a lot that it sounds like the practice of zen can mellow you out and make you simply delicious to be around at all times, but it’s just not the way it is. I think it’s important to see the dirty side of Dharma just like Zenfant does here on this blog.
Zen can empty out your teacup just fine but, honey, that means some days it’s gonna fill up with shit.
Today is DEFCON 1 for me. In case you don’t know what that is, I’ll explain: Dharmic & Equanimity Failure Coming On Now.
Case in point, we are in the middle of a weeklong retreat here at Dharma Diva Monastery and I have found myself simply done with bitchy queens. That’s right, I am done with it for the moment. I have left my right hand woman, Juwana Nirvana, in charge for a while. Let me tell you when Miss Queer Divine Dissatisfaction gets her last gay nerve worked down to a nub, it’s time to for her to go do the ritual of last resort so nobody gets hurt. So you guessed it, I’m eating at Ramone’s Mexican Restaurant in lovely Pagosa Springs, Colorado.
Don’t nothin’ relieve stress like a steaming pile of enchiladas.
The last straw was our Chinese exchange student, Sindy Lu Hu complaining for the 15th time about how her legs hurt during meditation. Well there’s gonna be some pain when you sit with your stilettos on, damn it. We sit with the pain and if you pansy ass queens can’t get that thru your wigs, you’ll never get enlightened.
So I’m sitting here penning you this letter with my usual eye liner and parchment…I may be pissed, but I don’t have to give up my panache. Dora Jean Trujillo just took my order…took three tries to get it right…says she just got back from giving platelets over at the clinic. Platelets? What the fuck are platelets? Is that something munchkins eat off of? I don’t care about your platelets, bring me my enchiladas. “Dora Jean,” I said, “get me my food now. I am thru with this day. THA-REW”. I am so done it took two syllables to get the idea across.
Yes I would like to shank someone and I do have one built into my left stiletto. That’s why they tell you don’t make a drag queen take of her shoes…she’s probably about to cut you. My food is here, let me pick this letter up after I eat otherwise it might get stained with Dora Jean’s blood.
Ok, so I’m much better now. Like I said, sometimes an empty teacup can get filled with shit and you have to deal with it as it is, but it is ok to eat your way to some equanimity first if you need to.
So I’m headed back now to kick some ass and take some names and whip these bitches into shape. I think I’m gonna find me one of those big sticks like Jomon uses on her people when they get out of line. I may even tell them that Jody’s depilatory method is a necessary but very secret zen ritual they have to master before they can leave.
There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others -Martha Graham
